wala lang

Sulit!

2009-04-29T12:40:00.000+08:00

by Sulit.com.ph (sbifon)

Sali na please!

Sulit sa Saya

2009-04-21T17:53:00.001+08:00

If you want to do charity or help me fulfill my dream of owning an iPod Touch, then click on this=p:

by Sulit.com.ph (sbifon)

snippets 2

2008-02-26T13:54:00.003+08:00

accept your mistakes

snippets

2008-02-26T13:49:00.003+08:00

sincere na sorry lang. yun lang.

snippets 2

2008-02-26T09:14:00.000+08:00

accept your mistakes

snippets 1

2008-02-26T09:13:00.000+08:00

sorry lang. yun lang.

OO NA AKO NA MASAMA

2008-01-24T18:25:00.000+08:00

Akala mo ikaw lang ang nasasaktan. Akala mo ikaw lang kawawa. Nasubukan mo na kaya talagang makinig sa mga sinasabi ko?

Nauupos

2008-01-24T15:00:00.000+08:00

Kakaiba, kung gaano kabilis lumagablab ang apoy kapag sinindihan mo ang isang posporo, ganun rin kabilis itong namamatay.

Leaden

2008-01-21T18:08:00.000+08:00

I feel like drowning but instead of wanting to be saved
I feel.. like.. I’d rather sink to the bottom
So I..
could breathe..

Hope you understand

2007-12-26T12:23:00.000+08:00

Why can’t you just be there for me when I need you most?
I’m just too tired for yet another fight.

I'm not a Batman fan but this sure piqued my interest..^_^

2007-12-06T09:22:00.000+08:00

Cool viral marketing for Dark Knight:

http://www.firstshowing.net/2007/12/05/the-dark-knights-viral-marketing-gets-very-real-cakes-cell-phones-and-all/

Made me wanna join the Joker Army..

Yeah.. cake and cellphone won't hurt too..

Harhar.

Healing..

2007-05-19T19:35:00.000+08:00

I know

Someday

Somehow

I'll find a way

To leave it all behind me..

it hurt but at least it set me free..

i wish i could find a way to make healing easier

but then again,

i guess there's no shortcut to recovery..

unless.. there's some kind of magic

that could just make it all go away..

nah.. that's too much to ask for..

so.. here's to hoping..

that i don't get wounded

while i'm still

trying to heal..

why always for the wrong person?..

2007-05-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

wouldn't it

suck bigtime

if you fall

for someone

but she/he

doesn't love you back?

and all you can do

is whisper:

"i love you...

but i wish i never learned to..."

************************

good thing nakaget-over na ko..

wish i won't make the same mistake again..

if ever i learn to fall again..

*************************

ass____ is falling.. LEARNED?!

i'm scared!

2007-05-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

What is this feeling i just can't explain?...

weh. ano un.

Pero swear.. sobrang nappraning nako ngayon sa takot..

Halong saya tsaka takot..

Kase nabigyan ako ng chance ma-interview sa 2 dream agencies ko!

Nagulantang ako kase sobrang coincidental..

halos magkasunod pa silang tumawag..

inisip ko nga prank call.. kse bakit ako tatawagan?

hayy.. ang saya.. pero super scary talaga..

nyarr..

Wala pa ko portfolio!..

ano na gagawin ko?!

halaa.. panic mode!

pero super thank you na naman kay Lord!

isang chance na naman to, na dapat i-grab!

sana totoo na to.. tska sana if ever..

magkakasama pa rin kami ng singko dito!

Grabe.. attached..

as in feeling ko di ako mabubuhay pag wala

ang mga yun sa tabi ko.. andrama pero totoo..

T_T

Kahit saang ahensya basta kasama ang singko..

yoohooo..

*****************

Haay.. speaking of being attached..

Mahirap talaga pag na-attach ako sa mga tao..

hala..

******************

'nuff said

and i'm scared even more.

LSS?

2007-05-01T12:16:00.000+08:00

Wala lang.. una kong napansin tong kantang to dun sa avp para kay ymon. Alam ko gusto din to dati ni Ynna kase maka-Calla Lily un..
Tapos huli dun sa Maynila na pinanood namin nila Kan at TJ nung wala kaming magawa (oo kinanta to dun sa super boring na show na un.. sobrang panira sa kanta.. di man lang bagay ung kanta sa storya o sa scenes man lang.. sows..)
Anyway, dapat iba ang ipopost ko ngayon eh.. kaso for some reason nagplay ng paulit-ulit to sa mp3 player.. un pala nka-auto repeat to dun sa player.. aba may sariling buhay.. kaya ayan na-stuck na sa utak ko..

LSS nga ba?..

Magbalik
Callalily

Wala na ang dating pagtingin
Sawa na ba saking lambing
Wala ka namang dahilan
Bakit biglang na lang nangiwan

Di na alam ang gagawin
Upang ika’y magbalik sakin
Ginawa ko naman ang lahat
Bakit bigla na lang naghanap

Hindi magbabago
Pagmamahal sa iyo
Sana’y pakinggan mo
Ang awit ng pusong ito

Tulad ng mundong hindi
Tumitigil sa pag-ikot
Pag ibig di mapapagod

Tulad ng ilog na hindi
Tumitigil sa pag agos
Pag ibig di matatapos

Alaala’y bumabalik
Mga panahong nasasabik
Sukdulang mukha mo ay
Laging nasa panaginip

Bakit biglang pinagpalit
Pagsasamaha’y tila nawaglit
Ang dating walang hanggan
Nagkaroon ng katapusan

Hindi magbabago
Pagmamahal sa iyo
Sana’y pakinggan mo
Ang awit ng pusong ito

Tulad ng mundong hindi
Tumitigil sa pag-ikot
Pag ibig di mapapagod

Tulad ng ilog na hindi
Tumitigil sa pag agos
Pag ibig di matatapos

Tulad ng mundong hindi
Tumitigil sa pag-ikot
Pag ibig di mapapagod

Tulad ng ilog na hindi
Tumitigil sa pag agos
Pag ibig di matatapos

Tumitigil… Tumitigil…
Pag-ibig di matatapos…

*********
on a side-note...

I think I figured it out already...
Could it be that I...?
Please no.. not again..
Another hopeless cycle..
Talo lang ako dito..
Better do something about this.

(a rule of thumb..)

ano na naman ba ito?

2007-04-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hala.. ano na naman ba ang nangyayari sakin?

Isa na naman bang katangahan to?

Remember..

Not too close..

a rule of thumb..

Aun lang.

**********************

Past week events..

-Ayun, Ymon left na for Italy.. SADDDDDDD!! T_T
Naiiyak ako everytime nakikita ko ung pics and videos sa cam.. huhuhu

-Nilagnat ako at nag-absent ako sa "work" ng isang araw..

-Hinawaan ko ng bayrus ang lahat ng tao sa GMPI at halos lahat sila ngayon ay either sumisinghot o inuubo na.. Kakahiya ako!

-Naranasan kong magtatawag ng mga tao sa loob ng 2 araw.. and what can i say?.. Hmm.. Sorry wrong number!! haay.. pucha nman oh, ang hirap talaga ng feeling ng "nare-reject".. awch... tsakit.. kahit di ko naman sila kilala... har-har.. drama!

-Feeling senti na naman ako nitong nakaraang week.. ewan ko ba.. feeling alone na naman ako at kawawa (thus, the "under construction" post.. hehe).. ewan.. siguro kasi parang nag-aalisan na naman silang lahat.. yung mga taong naging malapit sayo ng sobra.. sila pa yung nawawala.. Hay.. utak ko talaga..

-Buti nalang at pumayag si Kan na lumabas nung Friday.. nabawasan ang pagddrama ko.. Tuloy kami ni TJ sa Sesem North after ng GMA para kitain si Kan.. Nood sana kami sine kaso na-late na kami dahil antagal namin sa Pizza Hut.. kaya ayun nagsleep-over nalang sila Kan at TJ sa bulok naming bahay after magdramahan sa Seattle's sa The Block.. Sorry nga lang dahil boring at bulok ang bahay namin (ako din boring at bulok! har-har!..) kaya ang naging ending ay nagtulog na lang kami after magsawa ni Kan sa kakalaro ng "Bully" at ni TJ sa kaka-internet.. kinabukasan eh nagbalak na naman kami na kunin ang gradpic kaso tinamad na naman kami kaya nagpicturan nalang kami at nanuod nalang ng walang kasing boring na Maynila starring Rainier as "stalker" and Yasmin as "pakipot" (at nakuha naming tapusin to! har-har! jologs.. whahha.. epal kasi ang gulo ng cable namin eh.. and wala ding mapanood na dibidi..). Hindi rin namin nakuha ang gradpic kasi kinailangan maglinis ni Kan ng kwarto.. sayang sana di ko nalang sila pinaalis agad kase nagprepare si tita ng halo-halo sana kumain nalang kami at gumaling na ang tonsilitis ko (para matuluyan nako.. galeng.. lubusin na! wahaha)..

-Namimiss ko ung Siberian Husky doon sa Bio Research sa Sesem..
Ang kyut! Akin ka na lang!

-Pero si Mini KYUT (Nini black nose!) pa din lab ko! Sana wag muna syang sumunod kila Gaddy..

-Wala na naman akong sense..

-As usual "ala lang" na naman ito..

-Sana next week di na ako senti, di ako ma-late sa work, at ma-figure-out ko na kung ano naman ang nangyayari sakin..

************************************
-Good Luck sa mga may panel interview sa Leo sa Wednesday.. TJ, Lovel, and Pau! Astig nyo! Yakang-yaka yan!

wala na naman

2007-04-24T15:41:00.000+08:00

sad nakalunok ako ng gagamba kaya di ako nakapasok sa gma

masaya pa naman sana ang gagawin namin ngayon.. tsk

abnormal ko.. nilalagnat na nga ako't lahat eh nagbblog pako..

wala lang.. kase ayokong mahiga ng buong araw..

ayoko magmukang kawawa..

tska ang weird kase giniginaw ako samantalang parang lahat sila naiinitan..

hwoo..

anyway lungkot din ako kase aalis na si Ymon sa Wednesday..

grabe kalungkot talaga.. ayoko na muna isipin kase baka maiyak na naman ako..

huhu mami-miss ko talaga yung lokong yun...

nyarr tama na nga muna ang dramahan..

puro na kasi kadramahan ang pinaglalalagay ko sa blog na to eh..

pag na-depress type agad, kaya kung ano-ano kabalastugan nalalagay ko dito..

pero kinabukasan naman nawawala na din, makakalimutan na, tapos magsisisi ako bakit bi-nlog ko pa..

tapos parang gusto kong burahin kaso para naman akong tanga nun kse nag-blog ako para burahin lang!...

huweh..

wala na naman akong sense..

ganun naman lagi eh.. usually mga biglaang kung ano ano lang nilalagay ko dito kaya halos lagi walang sense.. kunyari nag-away kami o kaya feeling senti ako o kaya tulad ngayon nakakafrustrate dahil ang sakit ng ulo ko! mga bagay na hindi ko lang maayos o masabi agad o harapan kaya binoblog ko nalang..

hehe..

kadiri nga pag nababasa ko ung mga luma kong post.. parang ang pathetic, ang sarap kong batukan! pero ala lang.. at least nalalabas ko ung frustrations ko at hindi pa ko nababaliw (fully? har-har..) hanggang ngayon kahit may pagka-paranoid ako at hobby ko ang magworry at mag-isip..

sus.

ang haba na nito..

pero aun tulad ng iba kong blog entries.. wala lang to..

pero nakatulong din naman (sakin.. haha..)

i learn to move on. realize that things happen for a reason. be thankful for whatever i have now..

kahit parang wala lang..

baka bukas senti mode na naman ako.. o kaya feeling ko may galit na naman sa kin..

kaya aun bukas,

"wala lang" ulit!

hala!..

under construction

2007-04-22T20:18:00.000+08:00

i am tired.

i think i need to start building walls again.

in there,

it's cold, deathly silent, and lonely.

but it's safe.

no one will have to leave.

because i am alone in the first place.

no disappointments and broken trust.

a perfect place to rest.

but it has a big gaping hole

a remnant of the not so distance past

light was seeping in

and made me think that the outside world was so inviting

but maybe i was wrong because

when i look at it now

i realize that it's nothing but an ugly flaw to

my supposedly sturdy fortress

a sign of weakness..

a big gaping hole, that's all there is to it.

i am so tired

it won't be long before i decide

to crawl back inside

use that same darned hole,

patch it up

and make sure

that this time,

my walls are twice as strong.

(..?enola ffo retteb i ma .. erac t'nod tsuj ro ,tsurt ruoy kaerb ,evael rehtie lliw yeht)

?em emalb uoy nac tub ,truh teg i nehw edih i , drawoc citehtap a ma i

gets ko na!

2007-04-15T04:23:00.000+08:00

you have given me enough signs..so why can't i just forget about everything and move on?
i guess i'm just one heck of a stubborn fool..pero swear madali akong kausap
tsaka nagets ko naman na..believe me ginagawa ko na ang lahat para matigil na to..
sabihin mo lang at tatakbo akong palayo!..yuck andrama!
(buti na lang talaga walang way para mabasa mo to haha!
kundi mahirap na paliwanagan to no..buti na lang talaga.)

Ang kulit ng kantang to'.. astig! "pampagising" whoo!

Dont keep me dreaming
If all the hope is gone
If its all over
Dont keep me hanging on
I cant stay
And dream my life away
In some kind of wonderland
Better to hurt me honestly
Than make a fool of me
My heart will understand
Make it easy on me
Just walk away, set me free
Dont try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me
If its the time to go
If its the last goodbye
Never turn around
Dont want you to see me cry
Dont make me stay
And wish my time away
In some fools paradise
Dont give any hope to me
Spin any lines for me
Make the truth plain to see
Make it easy on me
Just walk away, set me free
Dont try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me
Better to hurt me honestly
Than make a fool of me
My heart will understand

Ayan, gising na ko! Gising na talaga pramis!
BABANGON NA!

Nostalgia hits hard..

2007-04-07T01:27:00.000+08:00

The last birthday party I've spent with Enang..
Wow ang liit pa ni Halston dito, si Tita Nilda ampayat pa! Nakakatawa kase naaalala ko dito na di pala ako ang original "klutz"! Si Enang pala un! Dati pala taga-tawa lang ako..

Eh ngayon.. sus. mas malala pa ang mga nagagawa ko jan..

May makakatalo kaya sa record ko ng mga nabasag na plato, natabig na mga bagay, times na nadapa, at nalaglag sa hagdan?.. hmm..

Miss u na Enang!!

Eto naman, sa Antipolo, ang saya-saya pa ng lahat dito.. (di katulad ngayon.. saaddd)

Sa pagkakaalam ko may tama ako dito. halata naman dahil namumula ako..

Ganun naman ako ilang bote lang lashing na..

Sush.

At nakuha pang magpa-picture

Eto.. bangag pic.. nung second year yata

Magagalit si Kan pag nakita nya toooo!

Ang bangag talaga ng itsura!..

Pero, eto, eto talaga ang dahilan ng post na to..

SI GODRICK!!!

Nakakaiyak.. pumanaw na siya last Tuesday!!!

Habang nangangarag ako nun sa GMA, eto naman palang si Godrick naghihingalo na sa heatstroke!! huhuhu..

Pramis naiiyak ako! Kahit na ambaho ni Godrick at mukha siyang utak namimiss ko siya..

Naalala ko.. 2 lang silang natirang anak ni Lilac.. ang liit liit nila para silang daga.. namatay ung kapatid ni Godrick na babae.. kakalungkot talaga.. kaya pinagdasal ko pa talaga na sana lumaki si Godrick tulad nila Lilac.. nakakatuwa kase talagang natupad un.. ang laki laki na nga nya cute pa tsaka bibo..

Hala.. tapos naalala ko din ung tym na pinapakawalan namin sya sa bahay.. tuwang tuwa si lola sa kanya.. si lola na ayaw talagang magpagala ng aso sa bahay.. pero un di rin matago ni lola na natutuwa siya kay Godrick.. Tapos tinuturuan pa ni Jasmin si Godrick ng mga tricks.. ung apir tska roll-over hahaha..

May video pa si Godrick na nakunan nila Jardine.. bitbit nya ung panty ni mama hahahaha.. Nakakatawa kase talagang gumala pa siya dala ung panty ni mama sa bibig nya..

Si Godrick din ung usual subject ko nung PHOTO 2.. kaiyak.. pag tinitingnan ko ung mga photos..

Si Godrick na mukhang golfball ung bibig, na may cute na hazel eyes, na nakalunok ng sulfur soap at natrauma pero nakasurvive pa rin hahaha.. na may malambot na paa, mukha, at ilong, na may matabang buntot, at chocolate brown na balat, na mabaho at mukhang utak dahil kulubot kulubot ang balat,

na sobrang luv ko pla at NA-MIMISS KO NGAYON!!!

huhuhuhu pramis naiiyak ako..

wawa naman si Godrick..

Ma-mimiss kita baho!!..

crispy crinkles na nasa microwaveable container!

2007-04-06T04:30:00.000+08:00

Syempre di na naman ako makatulog.. Nasanay na kase sa puyat talaga.. Alas-dose nga kanina feeling ko alas-sais pa lang pramis.. Gumigising ako pinakamaaga ang 12nn..

Kaya eto nag-bblog na naman ako ng walang kwenta para antukin.. ang saya nga eh kase pag narerealize ko na talagang super walang sense na un pinagttype ko eh inaantok na ko tska siguro may epekto rin ang sobrang matagal na pagtitig sa monitor..

Napakasaya ko ngayong araw kase natupad ang pangarap ko na magkulong lang sa bahay ng isang buong araw! (ayos na pangarap di ba?..)

Kase lagi nalang ako umaalis.. Masasabi ko na ngayong taon na to ako talaga natutong gumala.. actually hindi gala.. more on "napadpad" sa kung saan saan.. salamat sa Aduk, sa SAC, sa Fuji at kung ano-anong pinagkaabalahan ko ngayong taon..

Ang saya-saya kase wala akong ginawa ngayong araw kundi makipag-chat, mag-friendster, mag-blog, magtulog, at kumain ng choco crinkles (ang sama ko talaga dapat nag-fafasting ngayon diba?.. kaya ako bumu-bochog eh! hahaha)

Speaking of choco crinkles..

Abnormal tong si Jardine..

Ganito kase yon, andaming uwi ni Mama na choco crinkles.. di ko alam kung san nanggaling basta ang dami.. Nakalagay siya sa microwaveable container at buong araw un lang ang kinakain namin.. bite-sized kaya subo lang ng subo.. mga bandang hapon nagsawa na kami.. etong si Jardine na na-bore na yata sa sobrang pagkain ng crinkles eh biglang may naisip.. (Akala ko naman sobrang bright ng idea nya)..

Kinuha ung isang container ng crinkles at nilagay sa MICROWAVE!

(Sabi ko na nga ba mas abnormal ang kapatid ko kesa sakin eh.)

Kaya pala tawa sya ng tawa.. sabi pa bakit daw hindi namin i-microwave ung crinkles eh nakalagay nga sa MICROWAVEABLE CONTAINER! hahhaa.. oo nga naman.. kaya ayun..

After cguro 3 minutes tsaraan meron na kaming SAMPALOK! Ung mga crinkles nanigas, ung confectioner's sugar tunaw na kaya black na lang sya (wala na yung parang powder na white), tsaka sobrang nag-shrink sya.. as in mukhang sampalok na talaga! Tapos nag-dikitan pa sya, tapos eto pa talaga katangahan kasama ung parang papel sa ilalim nung container nung minicrowave ng kapatid ko kaya aun, nagdikitan ung mga crinkles na nasa bottom ng container dun sa papel!..

At ang pinakamaganda sa lahat, kinailangan naming KAININ ung kabalastugan ng kapatid ko dahil nagalit si mama! Kaya ayun.. nag-enjoy kami sa dinner namin na Choco Crinkles-na mukhang Sampalok-na may papel papel pa- at ang pinakaimportante sa lahat eh nakalagay sa MICROWAVEABLE CONTAINER!!!!

pucha.. at least lasa naman syang cookies..

crispy crinkles..

oh di ba, genius?

abnormal talaga!

haha.

kala ko bakasyon ako

2007-04-05T03:17:00.000+08:00

Sobrang nakakapagod tong araw na to..
Kaya himala nga nakakapag-blog pa ko ngayon..
Eh kase naman..

04/04/2007
*************************************

Aun tumawag si Tj kanina cguro mga past 12 at as usual ngarag na naman ako kase
tulog ako nung tumawag sya.. at un nalaman ko nga na may "update" na tungkol sa sa Leo..
kaya tumawag naman ako kay Steph at nalaman ko na ngayon pala scheduled ung battery test namin sa Leo.. kagulat sobra kase hala.. kulang ako sa tulog dahil mga past 7 na siguro ako nakatulog dahil nga binago ko ang lay-out ng blog na to..

Anyway wala nang atrasan, sugod na sa test at isa lang masasabi ko.. sa GMA na lang ako ang hirap ng test sa Leo!!!!! (haha jokies lang tsaka pla di lang isa ung sinabi ko wahhaa..) Pero promise ang hirap nga.. kangarag din ung sa GMA pero hala matutuyuan ka dito sa Leo.. wag ka at di pa un tapos may interview pa with (quoting Ma'am) the "bosses of Leo Burnett" di ko alam kung kelan scheduled un at kung makakaabot pa ba ko dun pagkatapos ko babuyin (yessss.. the term..) yung test kanina.. nyaarrrr..

Mahirap yung test kase nakakatense at nakakapressure.. hala tsaka iniisip mo pa na "dito nakasalalay future advertising career ko..." huhuhu..

Kaya un natense na yata ako at wala nang nagawang matino.. grabe.. sana pumasa man lang ako dito... hehhe..

Gabi na nang matapos kami at nakakagutom at nakakauhaw talaga sobrang natetempt nako bumili ng white choco mocha sa Starbucks sa ibaba ng Enterprise Bldg kaso lang katakot baka kase maubusan ako ng pamasahe..
wala kase akong pera kanina at naiwan ko pa ang cel ko sa bahay dahil sobrang biglaan talaga nitong test na to.. hala akala ko pa naman talaga magtutulog lang ako ngayong week pero so far, dalawang beses na nasira ang plano ko..

Tapos un nag-intay pa kami ni Tj sa Jobi at nag-isip kung magpapasundo kami dahil di ko malaman kung may masasakyan pa ba kami pauwi dahil nga syempre nagsasarahan na ang lahat ng mga establishments dahil Maundy Thursday na bukas at parang wala nang tao sa Ayala..konti na din ang sasakyan.. ang marami pang-construct ng kalasada..nyaarr

Sa di malamang dahilan ayaw pa sagutin ni mama ang tawag kaya napilitan na kaming umuwi mag-isa at napakagaling dahil sobrang traffic pa sa EDSA! Nakakahiya na sa Nanay ni Tj dahil tagal nya magiintay at birthday pa niya kanina .. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY PO!)..
After 10 years nakarating na ang bus sa Mento at aun diretso kami agad sa Mcdo dahil sobrang gutom na talaga kami.. ayaw pa mamigay ni kuya ng gravy pero bakit nung si Tj ang humingi binigyan sya!? (daya!)

At ngayon inaantok na ko.. di ba obvious.. kung ano ano na nilalagay ko dito sa blog natoooo.. sorrrryy.. zzzZZZZZZZZ.

new look

2007-04-04T05:00:00.000+08:00

wahhheyyy.. new look for the boring blog..

"borrowed" the lay-out from blogskins.com then tried to edit some parts of the code..

i was originally planning to create my own lay-out but then again, i realized that i've already forgotten most of the html lessons that my brother taught me.. wooo..

besides, i haven't got much time.. 5 more bum days left.. huhu..

**************************************

i changed the title to "wala lang" since it seems that i love that phrase so much..

tsaka nagkakamatay na mga doggie namin.. kaiyak.. (rest in peace godrick & lance T_T) ayoko na gamitin ung "dog" baka ako na ang sumunod na mamatay.. hahaa..

*************************************

alsoo.. finally figured out how to show the comments count on my blog page.. gawd, finally, after a long time..

i think changing the "comments moderation" thing did the trick..

i was just wondering whether people who give comments on blog entries could be identified..( i guess not because i know of a certain person who fusses over anonymous people who leave rather, harsh messages on her blog.. ooh tough luck..)

now im scared....

because in the process of fixing the comments count code, i have enabled public comments for my blog, (moreso because it seems that there's no way to identify people leaving comments unless they decide to identify themselves )..

maybe hate mails would start flooding my inbox soon!!.. (haha.. JOKE!! feeling!!.. whatever.. secret nga lang halos tong blog na to eh.. mabibilang ko lang ang mga taong may alam nito..)

anyway, the tagboard is also up and running though i can't figure out how to automatically update the posts.. everytime i post something the tag gets stuck and i have to refresh it before i see the changes.. as a result, i tend to flood my own tagboard! gawd, i'm so stupid..

*******************************

i completely removed the pictures.. i'll just post pictures on friendster or maybe my future multiply account.. yeah, i'm still contemplating whether i should create a multiply account or not.. so Tj and the others who had given me multiply invites, stay put and be patient! hahaha ang dami na kasing mga kung ano-anong account nakakalito na rin!

so there, minor changes.. whatever, who cares anyway.. i'm just happy because i made my blogging life simpler..

excited

2007-04-03T13:59:00.000+08:00

okay bum week starts today..
have to make the most out of this week kase last na to..
next week start na ng hell a.k.a work..
nyarr..
kagabi nga interview palang nangarag na ko..
tpos nag-intay ako ng sobrang matagal dun sa harap ng gma..
kase natraffic sila tita..
at nakakahiya kila lovel and pau kase inintay nila ko pati tuloy sila nadamay..
(sorry po!)
dapat talaga di nako pumayag magpasundo kaya ko naman umuwi!
yan ang napapala ng gustong makalibre sa pamasahe! hahaha
anyweiz, parang natatakot akong magwork sa isang network, kahit parang ojt lang naman to.. la lang lagi naman akong takot.. pero ok lang din kase lam ko may matutunan ako dito..
tska magandang training na din..
gusto ko talaga sa isang ahensya.. kaso lang ung sa leo medjo alanganin pa ata..
nyarr.. sana maayos na namin ang gulo sa singko agad.. kase dun ko talaga sa leo gusto magwork haha.. feeling na naman ako.. pero nde.. pag nabigay talaga sakin ung chance na magtrain dun i will give my best.. kase pangarap ko talaga ang makapasok sa isang ahensya!! ahuhu yess pangarap!!!
********************************************
excited...

yep excited ako kase reregaluhan ako nila ninang susan ng digicam!...

sfhsjhfjsdfsdwhwehfy.. huwaahh excited na ko talaga.. kase mdjo nsa top ng wishlist ko ang digicam..

happy-happy-happy! woo!

aun kase tinanong lang nila ninang kung ano gusto ko gift para sa graduation

wow napakahirap na tanong kase madami akong gusto syempre! (sugapa!)

kaya sabi ko cash na lang (haha kapal ng mukha!)

plano ko talagang mag-ipon unti-unti para bumili ng digicam pag nagka-suweldo na ko..
pero binilan nako nila ninang kaya ang saya saya ko!!!!!!!! grabehh! ngayon lang ako nabigyan ng ganitong gift huhuhu kaiyakkk.. tapos dinagdagan pa yata ng webcam at ng flash drive.. huwaaww.. hihimatayin na yta ako sa tuwa hahha.. hala kung ako lang siguro mag-iipon malamang abutin ako ng taon bago ko mabili ung mga un.. syempre kahit magka sweldo man priority sila mama, si jardine, at ang meralco! haha (labyu guys!) haha di nga.. kaya desperado na ko ngayon sa work! la na pahinga pahinga.. sugod agad haha!

aun excited.. ano kaya gagawin ko pag dumating na ung package?!

nyahahahah..

salamat talaga!

pero nahihiya talaga ako kila ninang sobra! nakakahiya talaga ako! ang hirap na ng buhay ngayon tapos binigyan pako ng madaming gift.. halaaaaaaa..

pero anyweis, thank you, thank you,

may kapalit naman pala ang sangkatutak na stress..

sana lang talaga maayos na ang mga gulo..

gotta keep hopes up.
***********************************
aun bum ako ngayong week.. magtutulog ako at magtatago sa mundo kase wala na rin akong pamasahe inubos ko na lahat ng pera ni mama nung adukasyon days..

haha speaking of adukasyon.. miss ko na fellow adukados ko!

tska napapaginipan ko ung lamig ng Ateneo Blue Room! haha kaya pala BLUE room (huweeehhh ano un?!)

ahhhrrr basta.. miss ko na sila lahat.. kahit kangarag ang adukasyon, napakasaya naman at madami akong natutunan!

miss ko na kayong lahat lalo na ang MC CLANG JEBBERSON!!!!

ok lang kahit di tyo nanalo guys! masaya naman!

kaya kanta na tayo ng "congratulations! congratulations!".. hmm with matching hand movement choreographed by lovel! hahahha

c'mon guyzzz.. let's forward the passion!!!! (un oh, di pa makaget-over!)

re: erased blog entries

2007-04-03T03:24:00.000+08:00

ok babawi ako.. since inamin ko na din naman ung alam mo na

di ba tinatanong ko sa sarili ko kung bakit kaya kahit kailan hindi kita matiis?

palagay ko alam ko na ang sagot matagal na.. di ko lang maamin..

Was It Something I Didn't Say - 98 Degrees

Something I didn't say
Something I didn't say

Spending another night alone
Wondering when
I'm gonna ever see you again
Thinking what I would give
To get you back, baby

I should have told you how I felt then
Instead, I kept it to myself, yeah
I let my love go unexpressed
'Til it was too late
You walked away

[Chorus 1:]
Was it something I didn't say
When I didn't say, "I love you"?
Was it words that you never heard
All those words I should have told you
All those times, all those nights
When I had the chance to?
Was it something I didn't say?
(Something I didn't say)
Was it something I didn't say?
(Something I didn't say)

Always assumed that you'd be there
Ooh, ooh, couldn't foresee
The day you'd ever be leaving me
How could I let my world
Slip through my hands, baby?

I took for granted that you knew, yeah
All of the love I had for you, yeah
I guess you never had a clue
'Til it was too late
You walked away

[Repeat chorus 1]

[Bridge:]
Oh, oh, all the words were in my heart
Well, they went unspoken
Baby, now my silent heart
Is a heart that's broken
I shoulda said so many things
Shoulda let you know
You're the one I needed near me
But I never let you hear me

[Chorus 2:]
Was it something I didn't say
When I didn't say, "I love you"?
Was it words that you never heard
All those words I should have told you
All those times, all those nights
When I had the chance to?
All those times, all those nights
When I had the chance to
Was it something I didn't say?
(Something I didn't say)
Was it something I didn't say?
(Something I didn't say)

Something I didn't say
(I'm so sorry, girl, so sorry)
Something I didn't say
(I'm so sorry, girl, so sorry)

Something I didn't say
Something I didn't say

(yuckies.. ang baduuy ko talaga minsan.. pero gusto ko tong
song na to kahit ano pa isipin nyo haha)

aun o.. nagtatago nga ba ako ngayon?

la lang baka kase di ko na makayanang manahimik pag nakita kita ulit..

(masama pa kase.. syempre, malamang u don't feel the same way and i might scare you away (na ni-ririsk ko na mangyari ngayon.. kahit slim lang ang chance para mabasa mo to..).. basta ayoko nga un mangyari..)

pero sabi ko nga lagi naman kitang di matiis..

pano na kaya?..

sorry talaga di ko rin alam kung bakit ko nararamdaman to eh.. if there's any way to stop this please tell me!!! asap!

(un, note to self: wag buburahin ang entry kahit pa masaktan or matauhan na wala talagang pag-asa ekek.. hahaha)

**********************************************

"little steps..
striving to
open up
even by just a little..
too much silence
is sometimes..
so confining.."

trying to "open up"

2007-04-03T02:54:00.000+08:00

diagnosed with tamaditis, i write this entry. i type sluggishly, my mind saying that i should stop because this is useless.. i'm wasting time, writing about nonsense to be able to escape what i really feel.. but then again i realize that it is through writing that i am able to express things that i can't openly say/show.. (again i can picture ms. psychologist sans the degree's smug face as if saying "see,i told you").. ahhh.. long story and besides, that's not important.. just that i realized that blogging indeed, helps calm my often confused emotions and extremely paranoid mind..

anyway.. i'm blogging so that means that something's bothering me right now..

"bothering".. ooh.. what an UNDERSTATEMENT..

Limbo. Flurry of emotions. whatever.

ahhhh!!!!!

I'm at the brink of losing my mind!

stress! emotional, physical, psychological! i badly need rest.. but it seems that now's not the time to rest.. to just let go..

*******************************************
err.. yeah.. a lot of achievements.. fun at first but then, after some time you suddenly realize that it's not really "that" fun.. because all things, it seems, have a downside to it.. sorry.. i guess stress has already taken it's toll on me..

ahhhhh!!! i know i shouldn't be saying this..

it's just that "recent events" had greatly dampened my once ecstatic and hopeful spirit.. (whatever.. i hate my own words.. too cheesy.. uber-cliched.. yuck)

awayan at plastikan na walang katapusan!!! bakit ba di nalang magharapan at magmurahan, sabunutan kesa magpanggap na okay ang lahat with matching joketym parang interlude sa napakahabang dramahan at galit sa isa't isa!

ayan na naman.. di naman talaga ako directly "involved" sa issue na to pero naaapektuhan ako.. wla lang kase ang sakit sa heart (un oh..) na makitang nagkakaganito after ng lahat ng pinagdaanan.. at bakit ngayon pa, sa lahat ng panahon?

there, again, long story.. but it really pains me that everything must lead to this.. i've already learned to love these people so much.. i guess it's understandable why i'm feeling this way..

hindi tayo dapat nagkakaganito.. bakit nga ba? at tsaka kelan pa to nagsimula?

bakit lumaki ng ganito?...

it was as if i don't know them anymore..

it's that kind of situation wherein you feel like you've been hit right between the eyes and kablam!!

at first you feel dizzy, confused

then after awhile, you realize that you're deeply hurt

but then you try to get up, as if nothing has happened to prove to the world that you're tough..

yeah right..

but god, I AM NOT TOUGH.

and it drives me crazy everytime i realize that..

shet.. ang sakit talaga.

ang gulo ko talaga ano?

2007-03-25T13:32:00.000+08:00

ang gulo gulo ko.. pabago-bago ng desisyon..

madaling maapektuhan ng kahit ano.. bagay, tao, pangyayari..

ewan ko ba kung bakit ako laging paranoid..

basta may trauma yta ako sa mga taong nasasaktan..

kaya ayokong nakakakita ng nasasaktan.. umiiyak..

nagpapanic ako!

kaya lalong ayoko kung ako ung nakakasakit..

kaya din halos mabaliw ako pag feeling ko may nagagalit/nagtatampo sakin..

kaya un sorry kung pabago-bago ako ng isip..

pero anyway..

kaya ko sinulat tong entry na to para sabihin na..

nagbago ako ulit ng isip!..

hahaa.. joke..

pero mdjo ganun na nga rin.. wahahaha

ah basta..

medjo natatauhan na rin kase ako

ika nga ni lovel "you can't please everybody" tska "jes 21 ka na!"..
(hahaha labyu lovel apir!)

kabaliwan na rin kase.

ok.. di ko na cguro matatanggal sa sarili ko ang ang pagka-paranoid

at pagkatameme.. talaga kasing ganun lang ako eh..

pero cguro ittry ko na bawasan?

o kaya maging risonable naman (yeah the term!.. tagalog kung tagalog sus..)

aalamin na kung kelan dapat magsalita at manahimik (tama?)

ayun o..

speaking of CHANGES..
gonna revamp this blog soon..
tsaka i think i owe some people an explanation/message..
kaya un.. pag may tym..
di ko na mababalik un mga nabura (binura?) kong entries dahil sa ka-paranoidan ko..
pero anyway.. basta..

Lapit na GRADUATION!

CONGRATS SA TING LAHAT!

SALAMAT SA LAHAT MGA TAO!

LABYU!

MA-MIMISS KO KAYO!

^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

narealize ko lang na ayoko na

2007-03-21T02:10:00.000+08:00

ayoko na pala. un lang ayoko na. nagsisisi ako bakit pako nagsayang ng oras sa pagbblog ng kung ano -ano nitong mga nakaraang araw kase pinapa-komplikado ko lang buhay ko. kaya aun binura ko na ung mga"ibang entries" ung "ilang taon nang due".. na narealize ko na di ko na dapat inungkat.. hala, nambulabog lang yata ako ng tao.. kaya aun para makabawi di muna ako magpaparamdam ng matagal.. kung pwede nga lang sana wag na kahit kailan.. kaso di yta pwede eh..

ang tinira ko na lang eh ung isa pa.. ung medjo "ngayon" ung "prologue" tska "chapter 1" (pero mdjo tago naman sya) dhil lang kase nagpromise na ko sa isang tao na hndi ko un buburahin.. don't worry di ko nga buburahin! tska pls wag ka magagalit! swear, may mga dahilan ako kung bakit .. ok lang din kase at least may remembrance ako.. reminder din na wag na ulit ako mag-eepal, maglalabas ng feelings or whatsoever.. kase papatayin ko lang sarili ko.. panahon na rin cguro pare bumalik sa dati kase mas ok pa rin pala ang tameme ung tinatago lang ang lahat sa loob kase at least walang masasaktan.. kung masaktan ka man at least ikaw lang nakakaalam..

My greatest fear.. it has happened.. and i guess i was caught off- guard.

I tried to be brave, let my defenses down and in the end realized that it was a very stupid thing to do.. it was as if i wanted to welcome all the pain..

It's that feeling that saps all of your strength, leaves you numb and cold. Your mind tells you, gives you a warning that your tears are going to fall anytime soon. But you refuse to believe, thinking you're some god who can actually defy the laws of emotion. And so, you pretend that you can actually think of "nothing" and then realize that's more stupid than trying to freeze your tears. You force your mind to think that you're filled with angst so you could fool yourself that you still have the strength to actually "feel" hate but again, you fail because instead, you feel even weaker, to the point of being helpless.

And when you feel helpless you just want to give up, surrender to the pain. You cling to your last flicker of hope.. the promise that time will come when you will be able to forget everything that has happened..

Today, I surrender.

I guess there's nothing left for me to do now but wait..

I will learn to forget.

i've had enough! (chapter 1)

2007-03-20T01:43:00.000+08:00

Una muna CONGRATS kase tagumpay ka! Hindi lang ikaw ang NAGPAPALIWANAG ngayon!

"DEFENSIVE=GUILTY" hindi rin.. depende sa sitwasyon o malamang, sa tao!!! hm.

Chapter 1.. No, I am definitely not writing a novel.. pero sa sobrang haba na ng hinantong ng "ISTORYANG" ito palagay ko kakailanganin na nya ng mga Chapter para naman hindi MUKHANG PAIKOT-IKOT.

Sabi ko nga magsasalita na ko ngayon.

If there's one thing this "experience" has taught me, it's to SPEAK UP!

Because if you don't, you're good as dead.

Mdjo late na nga para marealize ko to eh.. pero anyway better late than never.

Okay, on with my "points" pwede ring version of the story..

Bakit ba galit na galit ka sa kin?
ANO BANG GINAWA KO SAU?!.. na NADULAS ako tungkol dun sa BLOG?!..
Take Note: NADULAS, hindi sinasadya ok?
Kaya nga sinabi ko pa sayo na NALAMAN NA NIYA. Kung gusto kitang TRAYDORIN dapat hindi ko na SINABI sayo at magtaka ka na lang kung pano nya nalaman!
Besides, may mapapala ba ko kung sinadya kong sabihin? Hindi ba ikakapahamak ko nga yon dahil ang dating non SIYA ang trinaydor ko?
Di ba matagal ko na ring sinabi sayo na gawin mong ANONYMOUS ang blog mo para may "PRIVACY" ka? Pero ano, di ka nakinig.

MGA MALING AKALA...

Matagal na akong walang CGD pag Tuesday. Umpisa pa lang ng Sem nalipat na ako sa ibang section dahil naubusan ako ng slot.. Pano kaya ako MASASANGKOT sa isang "pangyayari" kung walang way para ko mapunta dun?!
After ng thesis at pagstart ng Adukasyon totally nagiba na ang schedule ko.. ilang week ko na nga hindi nakita mga tao sa block.. pati nga final exam schedule ko nagiba!
To put it simply, Hindi ako magsasayang ng oras pumasok para lang "SIRAAN" ka. Sus.
Hindi kita "jinudge" kahit kailan. Alam mo mismo na sinasabi ko sayo kung hindi ako sumasang-ayon sa point mo.
Inintindi kita SOBRA pero sinabi ko din sayo na WALA AKONG KAKAMPIHAN dahil KAIBIGAN KO KAYONG DALAWA..
"Uy, sorry ha wag mo isiping kinakampihan ko si __" Does this line ring a bell?.. Sinubukan kong maging NEUTRAL sa inyong dalawa. Sinasabi ko sayo kung ayoko ng sinasabi mo/ginagawa mo.. naaalala mo ung sa PRESTIGE? Hm.
Kelan pa kaya naging "FG" ang pangalan ko? Sus. HINDI AKO SI "FG" period. And btw, hindi din sya si Kan!

LASTLY.. (ay baka hindi pa pala.. malamang may katuloy pa to.)

Ang mali ko siguro ay napaisip kita dating KINAKAMPIHAN KITA. Alam mo magkaiba ang NAIINTINDIHAN sa KINOKONSINTE/KINAKAMPIHAN. Kaya siguro di rin kita masisisi kung iniisip mong naging PLASTIK lang ako sayo.
FINE.
Isipin mo kung anong gusto mong isipin. Sabihin mo kung anong gusto mong sabihin.
Ay wala ka na nga palang pake.. OWS?
Sinubukan (again take note: past tense) kong maging NEUTRAL sa inyong dalawa. Inintindi kita dati. Pero dahil sa mga ginawa mo, pinakita mo, etc.. ASA KA PANG NEUTRAL AKO NGAYON!
Wait lang, alam mo nga ba mga GINAWA MO?
AY SORRY MAY SAKIT KA NGA PALA! (PHYsiological ba yun? ay mali cguro nasagap kong chismax! para kasing mali un eh.. sorry tao lang! ay di ko pla linya un!) PAGALING ka na bilis para WALA NANG IBANG MAGKASAKIT or rather, MASAKTAN..
Ano, galit na kayong lahat sa kin? Sorry sawa na kong maging tameme. Sino bang nagsimula nito? Normal lang naman na lumaban ka pag sumusobra na eh. Besides.. TWO CAN PLAY THE SAME GAME. (more than 2 nga actually..) Gaguhan kung gaguhan.
Ay nakikisawsaw na naman ako no? DI NAMAN KITA KILALA WALA AKONG KARAPATAN!
OO NGA. DI NGA PALA KITA TALAGA KILALA. SANA DATI KO PA NAREALIZE UN.

TSK.

i've had enough! (prologue)

2007-03-17T20:17:00.000+08:00

juz realized that i can no longer keep silent..
i can no longer keep things to myself..

dati kasi natatakot ako na may masaktan.. kaso i realized na kahit naman manahimik ako eh may masasaktan pa rin.. at un na nga ang nangyari..
mas malala pa..

kaya eto.. (pauna)
what i really felt initially..

ung mga susunod na entries, (na hopefully i can post anytime soon..) from the point of view of "other people" involved naman who, just like me, seem to be always "misinterpreted"..

wait, i think i have to correct myself.. i wasn't really involved sa "issue" na to in the first place pero as others would like to put it.. nakikisawsaw ako eh.. hm.
kase naman nadulas pa ko tungkol dun sa blog.. ayan, dumami na tuloy ang mga "kasalanan" ko.. isang di sinasadyang pagkakamali na di ko tinago o tinanggi na nadugtungan/nadagdagan ng mga "kasalanan" na di ko naman ginawa!.. hm maling akala nga naman..

hirap ng napagbibintangan tsk.

entries taken from old journal

022607, Mon. at 04:13:22

wala lang di pa ko makasulat sa blog kaya dito na lang. this is what you call a real "blog" anyway kung saan mailalabas mo ang gusto mong sabihin hindi kung ano ang gusto mong marinig ng iba.

so there enough of the intro.

marami nangyari recently, as in sobrang madami na di ko na namalayan ung iba.. i mean aun, tapos na pla ung thesis, tpos may dumating na adukasyon, na di ko tlaga inakalang makakapasok ako dun, tpos nung saturday nanalo pa kmi sa activity.. na sobrang miracle yta un.. and now im looking forward to having lunch with the bbdo guys..

nyarr and im not making sense

grabe what i really want to write here is the fact na naiinis ako sa isang tao na sobrang ang kitid ng utak. i couldn't really write the whole story now because im still quite confused.. and to be honest, quite shocked with what i said earlier.. grabe nasabi ko ng mdjo diretsahan na ayoko ng ginagawa nya! wow! ako! na sobrang bihirang maglabas ng saloobin!

but then again a big part of me is regretful that i was quite tactless knina..

basta.. i couldn't discuss everything right now.. maybe some other day when my mind is clearer.

031207, Mon. at 23:49:45

minsan talaga mahirap din ang palaging nananahimik na lang.. kase baka magulat ka na lang baligtad na ang mundo.. wow demonyo na pala ako sa paningin ng lahat.. nang wala naman akong ginagawa..

mga maling akala na sobrang nagpalabo na sa kung ano talaga ang totoo..

minsan talaga naiisip ko na maging gago na.. ung tipong mang-aaway at magmumura ng tao ng walang kumpleto at siguradong basehan..

nagsasawa na kong manahimik. kase sa huli nakakabingi din ang pagiging sobrang tahimik.. lalo na kung dahil sa sobrang tahimik mo ang maririnig mo lang ay ang mga bulung-bulungan ng mga taong di alam ang sinasabi nila..

sinubukan kong maging tahimik at umintindi ng nararamdaman ng iba.. sinubukan ko pa ngang ayusin kung ano sa palagay ko ang mali pero putang-ina ko kase wala akong karapatan.

may hangganan din ang pasensya. at hindi ako tanga para umayon sa kung ano ang alam kong mali.

putang-ina ko talaga.

sa susunod putang-ina mo naman.

a piece of advice,

ang pagkakamali di pinapasa sa iba..

say whatever you want. isipin mo kung ano ang gusto mong isipin.

CHRISTMAS NA NAMAN!

2006-12-17T00:54:00.000+08:00

20-DECEMBER-2005. Tue.. at 00:16:43

It's 5 days before Christmas and it's getting colder every time I realize the fact that hey, Christmas is indeed around the corner. I really don't know, but i didn't quite feel the excitement of the incoming yuletide season this year... unlike before when I feel quite ecstatic even by just hearing Christmas songs on the radio...

I remember when I had to scrimp on my meals to be able to save money so I’d be able to buy the people close to me presents.. When I used the Christmas season as an excuse to be on tamaditis leave.. When for once in my life I enjoyed my university's surroundings.. When I felt very generous.. When I felt so lucky that I'm still alive.. When the thought of “what if I actually voiced out my feelings 4 years ago?..” haunt me as I see “people” holding hands as they walked.. When I looked forward to the 9 days of simbang gabi- dutifully waking up at 3 am, walking grogilly in the chill of the dawn towards the church, while sharing funny stories/intriguing chismax with my mom and brother, savoring my burger machine with hot chocolate/tapsilog/taho/aling gloria's lugaw breakfast after the mass, sleeping until 7 am then waking up to walk back to 2nd ave because I fear that I might get fat because of eating too much burgers/tapsilog/hot chocolate/taho/lugaw and whatnots, wondering why I'm an addict for tupig when I was younger but felt quite the opposite now....

God, I feel nostalgic. How i miss those days.. It's just that, I didn't experience that same feeling about Christmas this year. I'm still at a lost, maybe because I’m still trying to catch up with schoolwork, maybe because I've already had my own forced 2 weeks of rest so I am not at all excited for our 1 week Christmas vacation, maybe because I’m too stressed to even think of giving myself a nice break, maybe because the thought of my pending responsibilities kept haunting me.. (even in my dreams!).maybe because ive become too much of a sinner that im too ashamed to share with the joy of god's birth.. hehehehe.. i really don't know.. Maybe my wish won't even be granted this year cause ive been a very bad dog ..hahaha

So sad that im playing scrooge's part this year.. i didn't even save a single penny to buy my closest buds presents.. bet i'll feel very guilty once they come and greet me "merry christmas"....

bahhhhh.. Christmas, merry? i hope so..

I wish something would come up.. a sort of miracle that would cure the scrooge syndrome that hit me... just .. don't bring me 3 ghosts .. okay?

WOOO! Long intro! Anyway, the quoted part you’ve just read (I hope..) is an old entry from my journal.. and the reason I posted the said entry in this current blog post is.. tadaaa! To make this blog entry longer!!! Hahahaa.. whatever…

Anyways, on to my “point”… It just hit me that it’s been almost a year since I wrote that entry and I realized that I was such a pathetic dweeb, whining about petty things!.. And now, a year after, I’m off, writing a new “Christmas-themed” entry in my stupid blog… So, what now? Am I going to complain again?..

Hahaaa.. not really.. actually I think I’m quite in a sentimental mood right now.. and yah, after 5 long years still in love with the same perso.. what the?!!! NO! I AM NOT going to talk about the *bleep*bleep* reason why I am still single today! There’s no way I would admit that I am such a #%@@$$ idiot when it comes to matters of the H-E-AR.. err.. HURT!

Whew.. ‘nuff said.. I think I’ve had one too many.. of them bottles again.. *hic*..

Anyways… I am so not going to complain because.. I know I’ve received many blessings this year.. and I can’t help but wonder why the Lord has been so good to me despite the fact that I am an ungrateful asshole..

First off, Winning the SAC competition.. Everything must’ve been just a dream.. Winning 16 out of the 24 awards?.. (actually 20, minus the bronze and silver awards for Globe and PDI).. It was, as Joy said, SURREAL...

We had really tough competitors and I really admired their work! More than the prizes and “short-lived fame” I guess what I’m really thankful for is the fact that this experience made our group a lot stronger.. and more bonded..

There, again, I’m running out of words.. When it comes to reminiscing the SAC night.. I become so overwhelmed.. whatever!.. basta, THANK YOU ADVERSINGKO, FRIENDS, EVERYONE!! THANK YOU LORD!!

Second, the approval of my thesis.. finally.. execution time!

Third, the FUJI contract.. couldn’t believe that my dreams are slowly coming true! (I guess I’ll talk about this in another entry.. haha.)

Fourth, finally learning to accept that lola is in a much better place now… yep, no more questions, no more what ifs.. just honestly believing that she’s happy now..

...at dami pang iba..
Bait talaga ni Lord!
Birthday nya tapos sya pa may regalo sa kin! astig!
ahh.. kapal ko..

ah whatever. all i wanted to say was..
" THANK YOU LORD FOR EVERYTHING!"

Lahat to galing sa yo,para sa yo!

astig! MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

I definitely have no reason to complain.

galing ng timing

2006-11-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

grabe galing naman ng timing..

kung kelan magpapasukan na tska ko nakalunok ng gagamba..

nyarr.. 4 days na kong inaatake ng tonsilitis, sipon, lagnat, ubo, etc..

yuck talaga.. nagkakalat ako ng virus..

nagpanic pa sila nung isang gabi kase.. ewan..

i'd rather not think about it..

God, im fine..

sobrang busy

2006-10-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

sobrang busy

kainis sembreak na ah.

bakit ngarag pa rin ako?

teka tinatanong pa ba yun e lagi naman akong ngarag.

pero ok lang para nman to sa SAC.

at sa scholarship.

at sa iba pang bagay.

at tao.

at hayop?

haha.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-27T21:33:00.001+08:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wala lang. Gusto ko lang sumigaw.

Grabe na kase..

nako thesis.

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Kelan kaya magiging AHA! ang AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

sus. HAHA na lang.

kahit walang nakakatawa.

para naman masaya.

Nabadtrip Talaga Ako Kanina..

2006-09-18T23:36:00.000+08:00

Nabadtrip Talaga Ako Kanina..

Nabadtrip talaga ako kanina.. ewan ko ba, di ko maexplain..cguro kasi na-disappoint ako, kc talagang di ko inaasahan na magiging ganun reaksyon nila.. yan talaga ang mahirap pag sobrang binigay mo ang best mo sa isang bagay tapos, in the end parang mababalewala lang.. Siguro kasalanan ko rin kase masyado akong natuwa sa pag-iisip nun.. to the point na di ko na ginawa ung thesis ko na supposedly ay mas dapat kong pagtuunan kase sakin un, grades ko nakasalalay dun.. Pero ewan ko ba.. aun mas binuhos ko ung time ko dun sa isa.. sa pag-aakala na makakatulong un para mabuhayan ang mga tao kase parang ang hirap simulan ng isang un.. Wala lang, naisip ko lang na talagang gagawin ko best ko para umusad ang mga pending na gawain.. Humingi pa ko ng tulong kay Lord kase talagang gusto ko syang magawa.. tapos un nga.. ang saya kase biglang may dumating na idea.. Ewan ko ba masyado talaga akong natuwa kase sumakto siya sa hiningi kong sign kay Lord.. grabe sa sobrang excited ko di pako makatulog nung gabi… Akala ko talaga okay ung idea.. Akala ko talaga un na un e.. Akala ko talaga makakatulong un..

E hindi pala..

Ang OA ko na.. Kaya nga ako naiinis e.. Di ko dapat nararamdaman to kase nagiging unfair ako sa kanila pati na rin sa sarili ko. Para kasing ang iniisip ko lang e ung side ko.. Di na nga ako nakinig sa mga suggestions nung iba kanina kase siguro pinangungunahan ako ng pagkaselfish ko.. Iniisip ko kase binigay ko best ko dito tapos ganun lang.. I don’t really care kung matanggap siya o hindi.. ang point e clueless ako kung ano talaga ang naging lagay ng ginawa ko..

Mahirap lang kasi magmove-on kapag di mo alam kung bakit ka napahinto in the first place..

Whatever.. alam ko nag-iinarte lang ako.. masyado lang ako nadala ng isang to. Ay nako ganyan lang talaga, kase minsan lang maging determinado palpak pa.. haha.

Grabe naiinis talaga ako sa sarili ko kase ang kitid ng utak ko! Parang ang lumalabas gusto ko ako parati ung tama.. Hala, parang nagiging si Ch---- nako! EPAL AKO! EPAL AKO! Pero pramis di ganun, di ako ganun! Hindi ako sarado sa ideas ng iba.. far from.. grabe mas masaya nga ako pag nananahimik lang ako sa isang sulok kase kahit kelan wala talaga akong tiwala sa mga pinaggagagawa ko.. palagi ko ngang sinasabi.. kailangan ko ng assurance ng ibang tao para maniwala ako na may sense ang mga ginagawa ko..

Nagkataon lang talaga kanina, kakaiba, kase naniwala ako na ok ung ginawa ko.. kase naman yang sign na yan.. kaso un nga…

Ah whatever, I am the villain here and I deserve no sympathy.. kase hinayaan kong kainin ako ng pride ko, ng pagka-selfish, pagkamayabang na rin at pagkakitid ng utak..

Kaya un SORRY sa mga naapektuhan ng kaartehan ko kanina… buti na lang medjo natauhan nako bandang hapon.. buti na lang talaga, kase gusto ko nang sapakin ung sarili ko kanina.. bwisit kase.. nakakainis.. na di ko mapigilang maramdaman un kahit alam kong wala ako sa lugar.. Isip bata! Nag-tantrums ba...

SORRY PO TALAGA.. SORRY, SORRY, SORRY,

I just needed to get this out.. pero wala na un.. Ako lang may topak dito.. Ako mali..

Sowee po. Y_Y

Whatever Happened To My Plans?!...

2006-09-09T00:56:00.001+08:00

Whatever happened to my plans?!..

Whatever happened to my plans?!..

Well, as always, they never got implemented.

My plans last weekend included the following things:

-finish digital entry for shell by Sunday

-finish at least 50% of compo plate

-revise dy&r part of thesis

-schedule meeting with Oakley to clarify sales projections and marketing objectives

-come up with ideas for ad congress

-finish long overdue textile design studies..

But as expected, I got lazy and opted to do the following instead:

-download lots of useless things

-go to the 27^th Manila Book Fair

-dream of being able to buy all the best books there

-return the next day only to do the same thing..

-go to SM MOA

-pig-out at Shakey’s because it was Ton’s b-day

-dream of being able to ice skate again

-look for Advertising Now! Print. By Taschen publishing and go crazy because it’s 20% cheaper at NBS!

-listen to a weird prank call..

Psh. Another weekend, wasted.. I never really got to accomplish anything and ended up cramming the rest of the week. I wasn’t able to submit my shell entry, I missed another thesis meeting, and slept during my TXD class.. but then again, for some reason, I’m still happy.. despite my conscience screaming: “You evil sloth!”

About the book fair:

I have to thank Julian for convincing me to go to this event and Ara for lending me money to buy one of the fair’s most coveted books!^_^ We arrived there at around 6 pm. Julian went straight to the comics shop.. While everyone shopped for books I went around looking for freebies..^_^

It was really a nice event.. The books, as NBS would like to put it were “dirt cheap for bookworms”, the venue was perfect, spacious enough to accommodate a number of event participants, there were excellent, even, hard to find books on sale, very affordable magazine subscription offerings (complete with freebies..^_^;) and a lot more.. I guess the event’s only downside was the pricey food..but I think that’s ok.. unless you intend to pig-out after you go book-shopping..

By chance, I was able to spot a copy of “Advertising Now! Print.” at Fully Booked. I felt quite ecstatic after realizing that Fully Booked is taking 20% off on all book titles meaning I just might be able to buy that darn, expensive book!.. But snapping back to reality, I realized that I only have 30 Pesos at hand, not even enough to buy a piece of Jimini pizza!.. Hehe. A few minutes later I saw this really good, hardbound photography book. Normally the book would cost over a thousand pesos but at the book fair, it was sold at only 500 bucks!.. Darn it, a few more rounds at the book fair and I started to have crazy thoughts of withdrawing all of my savings to buy everything that I laid eyes on. It was a good thing that I never had kleptomaniac tendencies (thanks to STC hehe..)

After almost two hours of gawking at books we decided to go home. Almost everyone had a good buy. Thanks to Ara I was able to buy this book by Mono Design:

Book Fair Part 2:

I couldn’t believe my mother actually gave me money to buy a book that costs 2000 bucks. Just yesterday I was starting to experience self-pity, envying all the people capable of buying all the books they want at the book fair. And now…

It was almost surreal..(hehehe).. 2 crisp 1 thousand peso bills, folded and safely tucked in my usually empty wallet.. Later, I’ll be bringing home this huge blue book, perfectly packaged and fresh off the press…. Or so I thought..

Just my luck. The book was already sold!!!! I felt numb..

Mass at church in front of SM MoA:

It turned out that the fact that the book was sold was a blessing in disguise. We later found out that NBS was offering the same book at a much lower price, add to that a whopping 20% discount(until September 17). We decided to take National’s offer and wait till book shipments arrive..

We had mass at the church in front of MoA. Nostalgia hit me as I remember going to this same church more than 2 years ago..

First time at MoA

After mass we went straight to SM Mall of Asia. I guess the rumors were true.. it wasn’t really possible to visit all of MoA’s stores in one day!

We spent a few minutes watching people skate at the ice skating rink. As expected, my skating frustrations were brought back to life and it wasn’t long before I was begging tita to let me skate. My tita, who knew me very well strongly refused. “You're a big clumsy oaf!” Yeah right.

After I got tired of convincing tita to let me skate, we went to Shakey’s to celebrate Ton’s birthday.. Pizza in exchange of skating?!.. How am I to refuse?.. hehe.

Weird Prank Call

I don’t really hate prank callers but I’m not fond of them either. I think they’re just wasting precious time calling and not speaking once somebody answers the phone.. I don’t know why fate always pushes me to answer prank calls..

As a result, I have developed one-liners to somehow piss off hoax callers over time..

“Bad breath ka ba bakit ayaw mong sumagot?”..

I used this line one time and the person on the other end obviously became irritated and answered:

“Makarma ka!”

Funny, because her joke backfired and she was the one who got pissed off instead of me..

Since that day I always prepared for prank callers and enjoyed throwing their little tricks back at them. But last weekend, the scenario was different. I answered the phone, a part of me anticipating that it’s another prank call. True enough the call was a joke, seconds passing in complete silence.. I was preparing to utter a stupid comment when suddenly I heard the person on the other end crying..

“I LOVE YOU..”

“I LOVE YOU...”

I tried so hard to stop myself from laughing after I realized that there’s a possibility that I’m talking to a lovesick fool. The poor thing must’ve gone completely crazy after screwing up at love…

“I love you.. bakit kaya di ko nasabi un?..”

Darn. Why am I listening to this?.. Suddenly, the situation no longer seemed funny and I’m starting to feel uneasy..

The person on the other line kept rambling about not facing feelings, not having the courage to say you-know-what and losing a chance at love.. I started to feel awkward realizing that I’m starting to pity this fool of a caller.. A few more seconds and I decided to end the call by saying “Sorry wrong number ka yata..”

I just had to end that call. That prank call wasn’t really funny especially after the scenario, the same feeling of loss, seemed all too familiar..

song trip

2006-09-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

song trip

The Art of Letting Go
-Mikaila (dko sure kung sya orig nito..)

Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I'd keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more
How do you leave it in a drawer?

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more
Wish I could open up that door

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through
the pain of one more day
Without you

Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I'm learning, only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

wala lang...

2006-08-25T02:29:00.000+08:00

wala lang...

i'm forever waiting, blinded by my foolish feelings...

yes you cared but you never loved...

so please just kill my hope...

i wanted to be hopeless.. but i became hapless instead..

im forever bound to this feeling.. to you..

why can't i just disappear?.. so i could escape this feeling of hurt..

away, away, away from you.. from the tears...

i guess i'll just leave my heart.. too stubborn to just let go..

maybe, one day it will slowly die...

slowly stop beating..

for you..

Tinamaan ako!

2006-08-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

Tinamaan ako!

At some point in your life

You’ll meet wonderful

People.

So wonderful that you’d

Fall for them

& think that

they feel

the same way too.

But the truth is

They’re just nice.

Too nice. T_T

Wow lakas makatama nitong quote na to ah! Sa totoo lang tagal ko na tong nareceive pero di ko pa rin binubura para lagi akong may reminder.. wag basta bastang mahuhulog sa mga mababait! Hahahaha..

Mas mabuti pang madikit sa mga salbahe e.. kasi sigurado di ka mahuhulog sa kanila. Maiinis ka pero at least.. walang sakit..

Kesa naman sa ilang taon na.. ayun.. mabait pa rin sya..

Hahahahaa!!!!!!!!!!! Whatev.. bakit ba ko nagpapaapekto sa mga quotes!!!?

Aun masaya kase matutupad na din ang pangarap ko na makasama sa ad congress!!! Yay Bukas kick-off ng students’ ad congress hindi ito ung talagang pangarap ko na ad congress pero pwede na rin.. ad congress pa din to.. madaming tungkol sa ads.. mga astiging concepts.. mga astig at kakainggit na tao.. at may contest pa.. gusto ko yatang sumali.. Lam ko wala akong binatbat pero masaya din siguro sumali dun.. pwede pa ilagay un sa resume.. ayos! Pinakamasaya sa lahat.. LIBRE TO!!!!!!!!!! WOWWWWWW!!! Di ako makatulog.. saya! Ung print ads ko sa Oakley tsaka ko na pag-iisipan.. papakasaya muna ko!..

Pampalubag loob na rin sa bagsak kong prelim sa PGC.. yan kase ang napapala ng feeling na di nag-aaral at nakikinig.. baka nga mabatukan ako ni lola nito ng di oras.. nakow!

Pero naisip ko lang.. siguro mas masaya kung event na ni Raymond ung pupuntahan ko bukas.. sayang.. pero ok lang sigurado mas bongga event ni Ymon kesa dito!..

Hay nako epekto nga naman ng thesis….

Break muna ko!

inspiration please!

2006-08-15T09:37:00.000+08:00

inspiration please!

I am so desperate for ideas.

After coming up with an initial concept for my thesis, it seems that my idea bank has completely gone bankrupt..

Even worse, all print ad concepts (except for the 3 sustaining ads) are due this thursday..

I am on wits end trying to come up with a concept that will fit the general idea that I proposed for the brand!

In this mundane experience, I've more than proven that sometimes, small things, the things often neglected by everyone.. matter most.

Waaahh.. poor me.

Walls

2006-08-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

Walls

Sometimes you have to put walls up...
Not to keep people out...
But to see
who cares enough
to break them down...

But.. what if someone had been trying to slowly chip the walls down but you've been too busy building more walls to even notice?.. And when the time comes that you do notice.. the person who indeed cared became too tired chipping your cold, lifeless walls and decided to just walk away..

At first, you smile.. thinking you’re safe from being hurt.. but as time passes you feel alone, sad, and you realize that you’re trapped inside the so-called fortress you built for yourself.

Yes you were able to escape hurt but unfortunately you can’t change the fact that you’ve become numb.. deprived of feelings..

Cold, Lifeless.

Pretty much like the walls you’ve carefully built over time.

2 words

2006-07-30T13:09:00.000+08:00

2 Words

At ngayong wala ka na hindi alam kung san magsisimula ang ngayon, bukas, kailanman nagiba.. wala na bang bukas?..

072906, PM

Okay, I turned 21 today. Big deal.

She was supposed to be the first one to greet me.. She would sit on her usual comfy spot and awkwardly try to greet me with the sweetest

"happy birthday.."

And that first greeting was supposed to brighten the rest of my day.

I woke up late knowing no one would be up that early, only to say 2 words. No one would sit on that usual comfy spot, smiling, waiting for ..

8 am. I’m late for school. But, no need to rush.. right?..

I groggily went downstairs and..

"happy birthday"

oh. those 2 words.. I never really expected to hear them.. moreover, I never expected to see anyone sitting on that usual comfy chair..

"late ka na.."

but there was someone sitting on that comfy chair, not on that specific comfy spot, but on that same chair nonetheless.. and he was smiling..

it turned out that someone was indeed willing to be up that early just to say 2 words..

2 words that were supposed to brighten the rest of my day.

And so..

A BIG THANK YOU to EVERYONE who took time to utter/text/shout/write/etc.. those 2 you-know-what-words.. hehehe.. you're the reason Im celebrating today.. di nyo alam kung gaano nyo ko napasaya.. grabe..

I bet she's now sitting on a more comfortable spot.. up there on the clouds, smiling..

"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.."

I'm happy.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hoy Tj and Rye sabi ko na nga ba mahal nio ko e.. hahaha ang sweet naman gumawa pa ng letter! hahaha.. pwera biro salamat sa buong adberporpayb! Labyu ol! pero, hoy, di ako 29 no.. times 7 pa! di ba aso ako?... wahahahahahaha.... wabshu!!!!

I am trying to move on..

2006-07-21T16:02:00.000+08:00

I am trying to move on..

aun, di ko napansin.. 21 na pala ko next week.. naalala ko lang nabanggit kasi ni raymond nung isang araw..

ang tagal ko na rin palang di nagpopost dito.. kasi naman bigla nako nawalan ng gana pagkatapos ng mga ilang pangyayari sa nakaraang mga araw..

aun, mas masakit ma-realize na halos palaging tama ang mga kasabihan.. "nasa huli ang pagsisisi.." ganun talaga. sa totoo lang logical un di na dapat pa "ma-realize" kase yun yon. alangan naman magsisi ka sa umpisa di ba?..

pero un, panahon na siguro para grumaduate sa pagiging tamemeng bato.. huwag nang hintayin pang mawala ulit ang mga taong malapit sayo.. laging nasa huli ang pagsisisi.. pero walang huli kung naagapan na.. maaaring may katapusan pero kung may ginawa ka edi walang pagsisisi..

sa ngayon.. kailangang magpatuloy.. mahirap pero kailangan.. para sa ikasasaya nya..
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ikaw naman kase La, bakit di mo na inintay graduation ko kala ko pa naman sasamahan mo ko sa stage.. e kaso birthday ko nga di mo na naintay.. birthday mo nga di mo naintay.. wala lang nakakalungkot lang.. dapat masaya tayo sa march..

sa ngayon di na ko sigurado kung matutupad ko pa pangako ko .. sa totoo lang, ang magpatuloy lang mahirap na.. pero susubukan ko pa rin.. para masaya tayo sa march..

sayang lang.. mas masaya sana kung nandito ka..

pero ang importante masaya ka na jan di ba?.. kaya masaya na din kami dito..

alam namin na parati ka rin nandito kasama namin..

dalaw ka naman minsan!... hahaha kung ayaw nila sa kin ka nalang dumalaw..

hahaha.. alam ko ikaw ung nagbukas nung ilaw sa may hagdan.. ikaw talaga hanggang ngayon iniisip mo pa din na malalaglag ako dun.. hahaha..

mdjo kinabahan nga ako nun.. syempre di naman araw-araw na bumubukas mag-isa ung switch diba.. pero nasip ko nga na ganun, na para bumukas ang switch kailangan may pumindot.. at meron nga.. malamang ikaw un.. kahit di kita nakikita.. alam ko ikaw un.. hahahah..

kala mo naman matapang ako.. e super duwagis nga ako.. haha

pero un, alam ko namang alam mo un..

cge.. "hi" mo nalang ako sa kanila jan, pakisabi kay Enang advanced happy birthday! uy 21 na kami.. kaya lang siya mukhang bata pa rin ako mukhang isip bata na lang.. hahaha.. ^_^

CGD free time

2006-06-20T08:19:00.000+08:00

CGD Free Time

another useless post.. wala lang masaya kase libreng gamit ng net sa CGD.. wala pa daw formal lessons ngayon.. "testing" lang ng mga hardware/software, & net connection.. kaya eto magliwaliw na lang at magpost ng walang kwentang entry sa blog..

kelan kaya matatapos ang katamaran kong to?.. humiram nga ako ng libro sa lib pero di ko naman binasa.. natulog lang ako at nagfriendster.. nakuha ko nga ang approval ng oakley pero di naman ako makapag-set ng appointment para man lang sa informal interview.. may mga research materials nako na may kwenta naman kaso ako ang walang kwenta dahil tinatamad akong magbasa..

wala pa rin akong concrete idea para sa thesis.. may mga naiisip na kong concepts pero lahat so-so.. walang kwenta..

teka lang, bakit ba mahilig ako sa wala?.

Insomniac

2006-06-16T07:15:00.000+08:00

Insomniac

Umatake na naman insomnia ko.. Talagang di ako makatulog, kahit idlip lang.. kaya eto napagtripan ko na naman ang blog ko.. I made minor changes.. na di ko alam kong nagpabuti o nagpasama sa pangit kong blog..

Niweis, namomroblema ako ngayon kase I have a long day ahead of me at dahil nga di ako nakatulog, di ko alam kung makakayanan ko ang buong araw na to.. malamang nyan mangyayakap na naman ako ng random na tao kapag nakatulog ako sa kung saan.. (malas nyo!!!!)

Birthday ni tita ngayon at kailangan kong tumulong kahit tagahugas lang ng plato.. (sus, un naman ang role ko lagi.. dishwasher.. sa ilang taon ng T.H.E namin un lang ang task ko.. maghugas (at magbasag!..Sorry sa mga nabasagan ko!!) ng plato.. Bakit?.. Syempre kase di ako marunong magluto!!!! Ahahahaha..)

Kailangan ko na rin pala ireformat ung pc ngayon kase mukhang navirus na naman to.. nagko-connect sa net mag-isa... Mga pesteng Virus yan! Peste? Virus?.. Sorryy.. tinatablan na ko ng antok..

Tapos pag minalas pa, ngayon matutuloy ung interview ko sa Oakley..edi ayos, masarap siguro matulog sa office nila.. Air-Con!

Aun lang.. Ho-hum.

Buti na lang alang pasok ngayon.

Minsan na nga lang mag-feeling eh..

2006-06-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

Minsan na nga lang mag-feeling eh..

Ganito kasi yon, kaninang tanghali nagpaload ako malapit sa skul. Edi un, usual routine pag nag-papaload, sabihin sa taga-load kung globe/smart/sun o kung anumang telecom mo, sulat ang cel number, tapos ung amount.. edi un sinulat ko nga sa notebook nila kaso sinabi nung nagloload na delayed daw ang e-load ng globe ngayon.. kaya sabi ko ipasok na lang ung load di ko na iintayin ung confirmation message.. kumbaga may tiwala naman ako na di sila manggogoyo.. pumayag naman..tapos un, umalis na nga ako kasi ang alam ko 12 pm ang klase namin e past 12 na nung mga oras na un.. syempre ayoko ma-late natatakot ako kay sir!! Edi un nga, umalis na ko..

Dumaan ang ilang oras, si load, wala pa rin.. Ni ha, ni ho, walang anuman mula sa Globe.. naiinis na ko ng konti kse kailangan ko nang itext ung taga-oakley para iconfirm ung informal interview ko sa kanila. Pero sige hinayaan ko lang, sinabi naman nung taga-load na delayed ang Globe ngayon..

Ilan pang oras, wala pa rin.. Cge lang..

Uwian na.. aba sobra na to!!! Nagoyo na yata talaga ako! Badtrip na talaga ako nun at pagkagaling sa beato e dumiretso na ko dun sa pinag-loadan ko nung tanghali.. Pagdating ko iba na ung tao dun, wala na ung taong taga-load kanina!.. edi lalong badtrip!..

Edi nagreklamo na ko, tapos tinanong nung bagong tao ung number ko.. hinanap sa notebook.. nagtaka ko sa nakita ko:

(parang ganito ung itsura nun.. pero di ito un ah..;p)

Nakasulat dun sa tapat ng number ko: Ang Cute Talaga nito, Grabeh!! Nung unang pagkakita ko nun, naisip ko aba, ano to?.. tapos, parang nakalimutan ko na badtrip ako..

Aun, di ko matanggap.. mukhang sa utak ko nagfe-feeling ako! Aba, napagkakamalan din pala akong tao!! Hahahaha.. Ako kase un tipong kahit kelan di marunong tumanggap ng kahit anong klaseng compliment kase iniisip ko parati binobola ako nito, sigurado may hihingin tong favor o kaya naman e pinagtritripan ako nito.. Oo, masamang ugali nga un pero ewan, cguro defense mechanism ko lang un.. kase masyado na kong uto-uto sa ibang bagay huwag na pagdating dito.. Tsaka, wag kang makapal aso ka lang!.. Kaya un, hindi talaga ako naniniwala sa kahit anong pagpuri lalo na pag kakilala ko ung tao..

Pero nung makita ko ung nakasulat sa notebook parang.. napa-isip ako..haha..

Kase, siguro di ko kakilala (di ko nga alam kung sino) ung nagsulat nun..

Kaya, aun nga dahil natuon ako dun sa notebook, medjo nawala ung badtrip ko at di nako nagreklamo ng todo.. Nag-try ulit na isend ung load sa cel ko pero ayaw pa din.. topak talaga na globe yan! Kailangan ko ng load!.. Dahil nga topak talaga ang Globe,binalik na ung binayad ko at un nag-thank you pa ko bago umalis.. (aba, bumait..)

Habang naglalakad ako naiisip ko.. Tao pala ako! Tao pala ako!..hahaha..

After ko maglakad ng mga isang kilometro at nakasakay nako sa jeep.. bigla kong na-realize: PUCHA! Tanga ka talaga! SARCASTIC ung nakasulat sa notebook! Nabanas ung taga-load kaninang tanghali kaya nya sinulat un! Pwedeng sa lahat ng mga nagpa-load ako lang ung di makareceive ng load.. kaya.. NAKAKAINIS AKO!

Malamang sa malamang ung ibig sabihin nun e ito:

ANG SARAP MONG TIRISIN PAHIRAP KA UGOK!!..

Tama, kaya dun pa talaga sinulat sa tapat ng number ko.. dahil alam na babalik ako dahil di ko nareciv ung load. Kumbaga, nilagyan ng palatandaan (eto ung bwisit kanina!) dahil nga nagpalit na sila ng taong taga-load..

Hahaha.. aun, nung na-realize ko na tanga ako at walang sense ung nakita ko kanina, e natawa na lang ako.. Hahahaha.. Ang babaw kase!.. Yan ang napapala ng epal! heheheheheh..

Tsk, minsan na nga lang ako magfe-feeling eh.. Pahiya pa!!! wahahahahaha!!

LESSON LEARNED: Kahit kelan, wag kang magfe-feeling, kahit sa utak mo lang, kase di gawain ng ASO ang MAG-FEELING! Hahahahaha!

Tama?.. TAMA! Arf, arf!

can't sleep..

2006-06-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

Can't Sleep..

I can't sleep!!! Why?.. Maybe it's because I'm scared to go back to school tomorrow.. or maybe, I just miss someone so much.. nah, I'm just insomniac.. yah, that's probably it.

Manhid daw ako?..

2006-06-10T02:44:00.000+08:00

Manhid daw ako?..

I had the biggest shock of my life last night, when out of the blue, my lola told me:

"alam mo manhid ka, di ka marunong magpakita ng pagmamahal sa mga taong nasa paligid mo..."

God, after hearing those words, I think I forgot how to breathe..

The moment lola was released from the hospital after a week of confinement, I knew things wouldn't be the same.. The doctors made it very clear: from now on, she's going to need extra care.. And so, everyone in our house made an effort to give lola more attention.. everyone it seemed,.. but me.. I guess I got my priorities all wrong and if not for tonight's events, I never would've realized that..

"buti pa yung aso pinapansin mo niyayakap-yakap mo pa e ako di mo man lang mabati, matanong kung kumain na.. dun, nandun ka parati sa harap ng computer"..

Yah the words were cheesy, but the moment I heard them I wanted to beat myself up, till I'm black and blue! (if ever that was possible..) Everything she said was true!..

Am I really that insensitive?.. That I would never realize I'm neglecting someone unless they tell me upfront?..

I would really like to think that I have feelings too.. Of course I care, it's just that maybe, just maybe, I'm an idiot when it comes to showing it.. After lola was done talking (madami pang madramang salita..), I wanted to hug her right then and there.. it was pretty obvious that I needed to apologize and show her that I do care.. but then, my idiotic-robot self took over again and all I did was ask her if she was hungry.. God, that was lame! But I guess she understood.. Alam nya na talaga ugali ko.. na sa pagtanong ko kung gutom siya ibig sabihin nun tinablan na ko sa mga sinabi niya.. and I'm willing to make up for whatever I did wrong..

*************************************

The rest of the night went on smoothly.. nagkwentuhan pa kami ni lola.. mukhang nagtampo lang pala sya konti (aun, konti lang pala un..haha)..pero talagang tinablan ako dun.. I guess I just needed a good kick in the gut..

Minsan, kailangan din ipakita mo na may malasakit ka.. di na kailangang sabihin yon di ba?..

Of course.

This made my day!

2006-06-08T16:26:00.000+08:00

This made my day!

This just in, I recently found heaps of information regarding Oakley on the net!!! Woohoo! Not just ordinary info mind you... By chance, I found this neat site and it contained data meant for investors!! It featured almost everything- Oakley's History, ideals, vision-mission, board of directors, sales projections, product line-ups, and even a bit of info regarding their marketing background! Darn it, how come I didn't find this site earlier!? Because I'm dumb, blind, and just plain stupid! It was right under my nose, the god-sent site was found somewhere at Oakley.com! Of course, Oakley's main site is expected to have investors' info (note to self: you dimwit!!).. it isn't called a global brand for nothing!..

Anyway, I am so happy I was able to collate this much data in just a couple of hours.. Oakley.com was helpful but sites like Wired 7.12 and bikesportmichigan really made my day! They featured articles that gave me a clear idea of what Oakley really is.. from the consumers' point of view.. bingo, the core of every product, brand or company- the market.

I LOVE THIS DAY!!!!! And yeah, a while ago, my tito's friend replied to my email saying the guys at Oakley Philippines approved my request for more information.. and It seems that I now have the permission to use Oakley for my campaign.. Can things get any better?.. Thank you Lord, may nangyayari na sa thesis ko.. APAT pa na product.. pwede ring ideas !!! LOVE YOU!!!!

Hp or Canon?..

2006-06-08T11:16:00.000+08:00

HP or Canon?..

Blogger's server has been down for what, almost 9 hours now and for that reason, I'm posting 2 blog entries at the same time.. (wtf, who cares anyway?..) Whatever.

In my last entry, I was talking about decisions, friendster horoscopes, oakley, and the @%@#%# life of a sawi. In this entry, I will talk about.. the same things.. JOKE. hahaah.. that wasn't even funny..

Anyway, yes, this entry is still about a decision I have to make.. a decision so crucial that I have the urge to cross my fingers every friggin second... and.. F***, umeepal na naman ako! god, I think I'm still in a drunken stupor..

What the hell, on with my dilemma! So, I was talking about a crucial decision I have to make:

Should I buy a Canon CanoScan LiDE 25 or an HP Scanjet 2400 Digital Flatbed Scanner?

Which flatbed is better? Which scanner will give me the ultimate bang for the buck?.. C'mon guys I need help here.. if by chance you get to read this stupid entry and you know something about scanners please feel free to drop a note or something..

Yah I know I'm pathetic, the LiDE 25 and HP 2400 are the cheapest flatbeds around! But hey, if you're poor you consider everything you have to purchase as a high-involvement product!! ha-ha. So there, suggestions are very much welcome.. well, if you just want to tell me I suck.. no need my friend, I know that pretty well..

Decisions, decisions..

2006-06-08T11:01:00.000+08:00

Decisions, decisions..

My friendster horoscope (yes for the first time, I actually paid attention to that part of friendster..) said something about decisions having long term effects.. I don't really believe in astrology but this "reading" somewhat struck a chord..
*********************************************************************
Kanina lang nagdecide ako na pag-aaralan ko nang limutin ang mga bagay na alam kong di para sa akin.. Alam mo naman kung di para sa yo di ba?.. Mahirap din kasi ang pakiramdam ng tinutulak kang palayo.. Akalain mo un, madali pala akong kausap!.. Pero.. Kaya ko kaya? Tska pano kung mali naman pala ako ng iniisip? Edi ang lalabas, ako ang nagtutulak palayo?..

****************************************************************************
Oakley is THE brand for my Total Advertising Campaign thesis.. because it seems that I have no other choice!.. bwaha.I've sent them a letter earlier, (much to their dismay..) to ask for "info" regarding their company. I think the letter sounded lame but I had to send it anyway.. for formality's sake.. yeah.. whatever. It's a good thing Tito Man's friend works there.. at least someone can back me up in case I did something stupid..

Hahaha kidding aside, I was quite relieved that from absolute nothing, I now have an idea on what I need to do with my thesis.. hey, may ISANG product na ako!.. Hopefully, after gathering enough information regarding my chosen company I can start toying around with a few ideas for the campaign or maybe the marketing strategy. At this point, I'm thinking about whether I should focus on Oakley's women's apparel line or not...

The reason why I was hesitant to make a campaign for Oakley was because of the fact that it is known to be a high end brand and at first, I couldn't really think of a "problem" (that can somehow be solved by an ad campaign..) that can be associated with it. I mean oakley IS the market leader when it comes to high- end eyewear right?(or maybe not!!! See, I am not even sure!..).. Does it even have a damn problem?!.. But then I realized that Oakley's popularity rests MAINLY on its eyewear line and I highly suspect that it may be lagging when it comes to apparel sales.. especially in our country..

hehehe.. Whatever. I think I'm over-analyzing things.. I still don't have hard facts that can actually support these speculations! Anyway, I'm plagued with a lot more "Oakley" problems.. that I'm starting to doubt my decision to use it for my campaign.. (hala, di pa nga ko nagsisimula! wala pa!!!!..tska 5 products dba? Isa pa lang to!)

Damn friendster horoscope! Paranoid na tuloy ako sa mga ginawa kong decisions ngayong araw na to!!..

Darn blog thing..

2006-06-07T12:46:00.000+08:00

Darn blog thing..

The problem with me is that I often take things way seriously. My therapist advised me to write a blog so I could deal with stress better.. At first I was hesitant because the idea sounded crazy.. a blog will only remind me of my worries! But then after a chat with a friend one night, I have completely decided to give this "blog thing" a try. Now after a week or so of blogging, I think.. I've become.. addicted. I don't care whether somebody even gives a damn about what I write or not.. I just.. fancy the fact that this darn blog is indeed taking my mind off things. Now, is that a good thing?.. In a way, yes but then it dawned on me that I have used much time blogging that I have entirely forgotten that school starts this coming Tuesday.. not next-next week.. God, am I a dimwit or what?! I still don't have a portfolio and I don't have a @#$@$@ plan for my thesis! ha-ha.

Plano!

2006-06-05T06:20:00.000+08:00

Plano!

If there was one thing I've learned from *****, it was the importance of making plans.. When Mr. Ego said that "planning ahead gives our lives direction.. planning makes our lives easier..", for the first time, he actually made sense..

But because I'm a stupid, happy-go-lucky bum, I realized that only now.. Imagine, it took hordes of people to finally knock sense into my idiotic head!:

"jes, you gotta start planning your life no, kaya parati kang haggard e!"

"e uungas-ungas ka kasi lage.. bat di mo kaya planuhin ung oras mo?.. pagdating mo sa gabi matulog ka muna ng ilang oras tapos tsaka ka gumising para gumawa ng plates nang hindi ka parating late at tutulog-tulog sa jeep! Nakakahiya ka halos yakapin mo na yung driver kanina!.. hintayin mo pang may mangyari sayo para makinig ka sa mga sinasabi namin.. pag pinagsasabihan ka kase ikaw pa galit.."

"di ba may planner ka? Kaya nga binili un para lagyan ng laman.. e kaso nandun lang pakalat-kalat.."

"Look at you, mukha ka na namang sumugod sa giyera.. Kita sa mata na madaming iniisip.. Take it easy lang kasi.. Do something fun.. try mong mag-blog.. Tska have you heard of planning? Pag may schedule ka kasi mas maayos ang lahat di ba?.."

Tsk. I have to admit that they were right.. I gotta start fixing my life. Bawas cramming, procrastinating, at pagliliwaliw.. Come to think of it, maybe if my schedule's organized i could allot time for other important.. or rather, more important things. Like.. keeping in touch with my friends.. Ilang gimik na ba ang di ko nasamahan dahil nagccram ako sa mga panahong yon'?..Nakakaguilty na nakakalungkot.. yah sure maiintindihan nila pero feeling ko ang sama ko kasi wala na kong time para sa kanila.. kasi di ako marunong mag-ayos ng oras ko.. un yon.

Guilty as charged.

********************************************************************

You can never be too busy when it comes to people you love right?.. Err, so I guess that means I have to heed everyone's advice and learn time management 101.. All the fraps,espressos,macchiatos,rhumbas, etc.. that me and my mom gulped down last December will finally serve their purpose.. (Darn, all that for a heavy, bulky, brown! Starbucks planner!..).

Finally magkakalaman na din ung planner ko!

Aun, for my good and the good of everyone else (especially ni mamang drayber!!) i'll start planning na.. Hopefully, my doggone life will gain a sense of direction..

dog days are finally over

2006-06-02T18:16:00.000+08:00

dog days are finally over..

It's official, dog days are finally over.. and that sucks.. big time.
Goodbye dvd marathons and all day siestas. Bum life ends today. Waah!T_T

Yesterday's events made me realize just that. No more fooling around for my impending doom more commonly known as schoolyear 2006-2007 starts in less than 2 weeks. I just couldn't believe that in 2 weeks' time i'll have to deal with countless plates and stress inducing deadlines.. again. (Pardon but I just felt the need to stress the word "stress".. hahah.)
Stress... Stress means more pimples... It tests my patience, provides me reasons to be irascible, deprives me of sleep and leisure, and brings out the whiner in me. darn...

Si kalbo na talaga ang thesis adviser ko! Akalain mong sinuwerte pa ko at umabot ako sa slot nya.. Alam ko magaling sya pero talagang natatakot ako sa kanya.. terror kase.. e tatanga-tanga pa naman ako edi lagot na.. Aun buti na lang kasama ko dito si Tj at least may karamay pag nabambo ni kalbo!.. wuuuu..

Yesterday was complete hell.. Everything was going haywire because as usual, the people in charge weren't able to implement a systematic way to go over the encoding of thesis advisers. For hours, we had to fall in line, sweating profusely because of the suffocating heat caused by the crowd and beato's confining corridors. Most of us, who unfortunately ended up almost at the back of the line were nervous, afraid that we might lose our chance of picking, if not the best, at least the most reasonable adviser for our thesis.

At the end of the day, some got lucky and obtained the best adviser slots but then there were also the unfortunate others who had to make do with whatever slots were left. I feel sorry for them.. it's not really their fault. This process occurs every year. And every year students have to deal with the same problems: schedule conflicts, missing forms, confusing procedures, improper venue, hot tempered administrators, and other indubitable proof that CFAD's system isn't even worthy to be called a "system".. tsk, will they ever learn?..

Darn, I'm complaining again.. does that mean that I'm stressed? (di pa nga pasukan!!..).. Looks like Ms. nonchalant therapist/psychologist (sans the degree?) wouldn't be too happy if she learns about this.. haha.. wuuuu..lagot..

wala lang

Sulit!

Sulit sa Saya

snippets 2

snippets

snippets 2

snippets 1

OO NA AKO NA MASAMA

Nauupos

Leaden

Hope you understand

I'm not a Batman fan but this sure piqued my interest..^_^

Healing..

why always for the wrong person?..

i'm scared!

LSS?

ano na naman ba ito?

wala na naman

under construction

gets ko na!

Nostalgia hits hard..

crispy crinkles na nasa microwaveable container!

kala ko bakasyon ako

new look

excited

re: erased blog entries

trying to "open up"

ang gulo ko talaga ano?

madaling maapektuhan ng kahit ano.. bagay, tao, pangyayari..

ewan ko ba kung bakit ako laging paranoid..

basta may trauma yta ako sa mga taong nasasaktan..

kaya ayokong nakakakita ng nasasaktan.. umiiyak..

nagpapanic ako!

kaya lalong ayoko kung ako ung nakakasakit..

kaya din halos mabaliw ako pag feeling ko may nagagalit/nagtatampo sakin..

kaya un sorry kung pabago-bago ako ng isip..

pero anyway..

kaya ko sinulat tong entry na to para sabihin na..

nagbago ako ulit ng isip!..

hahaa.. joke..

pero mdjo ganun na nga rin.. wahahaha

ah basta..

medjo natatauhan na rin kase ako

ika nga ni lovel "you can't please everybody" tska "jes 21 ka na!"..(hahaha labyu lovel apir!)

kabaliwan na rin kase.

ok.. di ko na cguro matatanggal sa sarili ko ang ang pagka-paranoid

at pagkatameme.. talaga kasing ganun lang ako eh..

pero cguro ittry ko na bawasan?

o kaya maging risonable naman (yeah the term!.. tagalog kung tagalog sus..)

aalamin na kung kelan dapat magsalita at manahimik (tama?)

ayun o..

********speaking of CHANGES..gonna revamp this blog soon..tsaka i think i owe some people an explanation/message..kaya un.. pag may tym..di ko na mababalik un mga nabura (binura?) kong entries dahil sa ka-paranoidan ko..pero anyway.. basta..********

Lapit na GRADUATION!CONGRATS SA TING LAHAT!SALAMAT SA LAHAT MGA TAO!LABYU!MA-MIMISS KO KAYO!^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

narealize ko lang na ayoko na

i've had enough! (chapter 1)

i've had enough! (prologue)

CHRISTMAS NA NAMAN!

galing ng timing

sobrang busy

sobrang busy

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Nabadtrip Talaga Ako Kanina..

Nabadtrip Talaga Ako Kanina..

Whatever Happened To My Plans?!...

Whatever happened to my plans?!..

song trip

song trip

wala lang...

wala lang...

Tinamaan ako!

Tinamaan ako!

inspiration please!

inspiration please!

Walls

Walls

2 words

2 Words

I am trying to move on..

I am trying to move on..

ika nga ni lovel "you can't please everybody" tska "jes 21 ka na!"..
(hahaha labyu lovel apir!)

speaking of CHANGES..
gonna revamp this blog soon..
tsaka i think i owe some people an explanation/message..
kaya un.. pag may tym..
di ko na mababalik un mga nabura (binura?) kong entries dahil sa ka-paranoidan ko..
pero anyway.. basta..

Lapit na GRADUATION!

CONGRATS SA TING LAHAT!

SALAMAT SA LAHAT MGA TAO!

LABYU!

MA-MIMISS KO KAYO!

^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^