CHRISTMAS NA NAMAN!

20-DECEMBER-2005. Tue.. at 00:16:43

It's 5 days before Christmas and it's getting colder every time I realize the fact that hey, Christmas is indeed around the corner. I really don't know, but i didn't quite feel the excitement of the incoming yuletide season this year... unlike before when I feel quite ecstatic even by just hearing Christmas songs on the radio...

I remember when I had to scrimp on my meals to be able to save money so I’d be able to buy the people close to me presents.. When I used the Christmas season as an excuse to be on tamaditis leave.. When for once in my life I enjoyed my university's surroundings.. When I felt very generous.. When I felt so lucky that I'm still alive.. When the thought of “what if I actually voiced out my feelings 4 years ago?..” haunt me as I see “people” holding hands as they walked.. When I looked forward to the 9 days of simbang gabi- dutifully waking up at 3 am, walking grogilly in the chill of the dawn towards the church, while sharing funny stories/intriguing chismax with my mom and brother, savoring my burger machine with hot chocolate/tapsilog/taho/aling gloria's lugaw breakfast after the mass, sleeping until 7 am then waking up to walk back to 2nd ave because I fear that I might get fat because of eating too much burgers/tapsilog/hot chocolate/taho/lugaw and whatnots, wondering why I'm an addict for tupig when I was younger but felt quite the opposite now....

God, I feel nostalgic. How i miss those days.. It's just that, I didn't experience that same feeling about Christmas this year. I'm still at a lost, maybe because I’m still trying to catch up with schoolwork, maybe because I've already had my own forced 2 weeks of rest so I am not at all excited for our 1 week Christmas vacation, maybe because I’m too stressed to even think of giving myself a nice break, maybe because the thought of my pending responsibilities kept haunting me.. (even in my dreams!).maybe because ive become too much of a sinner that im too ashamed to share with the joy of god's birth.. hehehehe.. i really don't know.. Maybe my wish won't even be granted this year cause ive been a very bad dog ..hahaha

So sad that im playing scrooge's part this year.. i didn't even save a single penny to buy my closest buds presents.. bet i'll feel very guilty once they come and greet me "merry christmas"....

bahhhhh.. Christmas, merry? i hope so..

I wish something would come up.. a sort of miracle that would cure the scrooge syndrome that hit me... just .. don't bring me 3 ghosts .. okay?

WOOO! Long intro! Anyway, the quoted part you’ve just read (I hope..) is an old entry from my journal.. and the reason I posted the said entry in this current blog post is.. tadaaa! To make this blog entry longer!!! Hahahaa.. whatever…

Anyways, on to my “point”… It just hit me that it’s been almost a year since I wrote that entry and I realized that I was such a pathetic dweeb, whining about petty things!.. And now, a year after, I’m off, writing a new “Christmas-themed” entry in my stupid blog… So, what now? Am I going to complain again?..

Hahaaa.. not really.. actually I think I’m quite in a sentimental mood right now.. and yah, after 5 long years still in love with the same perso.. what the?!!! NO! I AM NOT going to talk about the *bleep*bleep* reason why I am still single today! There’s no way I would admit that I am such a #%@@$$ idiot when it comes to matters of the H-E-AR.. err.. HURT!

Whew.. ‘nuff said.. I think I’ve had one too many.. of them bottles again.. *hic*..

Anyways… I am so not going to complain because.. I know I’ve received many blessings this year.. and I can’t help but wonder why the Lord has been so good to me despite the fact that I am an ungrateful asshole..

First off, Winning the SAC competition.. Everything must’ve been just a dream.. Winning 16 out of the 24 awards?.. (actually 20, minus the bronze and silver awards for Globe and PDI).. It was, as Joy said, SURREAL...

We had really tough competitors and I really admired their work! More than the prizes and “short-lived fame” I guess what I’m really thankful for is the fact that this experience made our group a lot stronger.. and more bonded..

There, again, I’m running out of words.. When it comes to reminiscing the SAC night.. I become so overwhelmed.. whatever!.. basta, THANK YOU ADVERSINGKO, FRIENDS, EVERYONE!! THANK YOU LORD!!

Second, the approval of my thesis.. finally.. execution time!

Third, the FUJI contract.. couldn’t believe that my dreams are slowly coming true! (I guess I’ll talk about this in another entry.. haha.)

Fourth, finally learning to accept that lola is in a much better place now… yep, no more questions, no more what ifs.. just honestly believing that she’s happy now..

...at dami pang iba..
Bait talaga ni Lord!
Birthday nya tapos sya pa may regalo sa kin! astig!
ahh.. kapal ko..

ah whatever. all i wanted to say was..
" THANK YOU LORD FOR EVERYTHING!"

Lahat to galing sa yo,para sa yo!

astig! MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

I definitely have no reason to complain.